Lost in a turmoil of
indecision
I drink
Not think
But, on a different note,
The sun shone
And people whispered smiles
And slowed
And showed
Trueness
Awareness
The need to caress/embrace
The need to find a place
Direction (false)
Is oblivion
Of everything good.
We are all happy
With many selfish ways
This, of course,
Is not an attack
On humanity
But a
Frustrated wave of emotion.
Lost & Lonely
Without you
To guide, hide me
To feel, heal me
To talk, walk me.
An ashtray
Circular
Ash stained
Squashed butts
A blob of chewed gum
Promotion of a brand name
Ashtray filled again
Emptied, washed, dirtied, filled.
Spawned gasping
Lungs expanding
For first time
Then we cry and sleep
Eyes not yet opened
We open eyes to a
Colourful window of
Shapes Moving
We crawl, arms flapping
Legs lagging behind.
In the hive of activity
again
Reminds me of an old poem
A constant banter of expressionism
An old fat man stares
At people obviously
Whilst rigidly lifting
His glass.
Me, I sit here in a world
Alien, and confused.
I alone dance around
Listening, learning, understanding . . .
Occasionally from time to time we have
realisations
Either negative or positive
It is irrelevant
Unless effort is made.
It is easy to support
Your own ideals
If you know them.
Good vibes
Bad vibes
An erratic pulse
Of unawareness.
I've cried to music
Just connection
Not sadness
Or rejection.
I've smiled with music
Just freedom
Not sarcastically
Or suggestively
I've hated music
Just pretentious
Not real
Or honest.
I've thought nothing to
music
Just background
Not purposefully
Or ignorantly
Musical emotion
A strange devotion.
My shadow shows
Hair blowing
On paving slab
An image of life
2 dimensional
& colourless
A contrast . . . it seems.
No effort
Just politeness
No interest
Just evasiveness
No smiles
Only side glances
No conversation
Just accusation
How can one rectify this?
No right way shown
Just continuance
No answers given
Just avoided
No Nothing.
Another familiar night
Wondering, not knowing
Worrying if safe
Hurt, also afraid.
Too late for normality
Well, they've got me back I suppose
For the time I enjoyed myself
Guilt constantly flowing
From corners unseen.
A hangover
Attached itself
To me
Today
Like a limpet
I wanna knock it off and feed it to a crab.
Coffee is a myth
But we still have hope.
My spare time is apparent
But absent.
Strangely comforted
By inner glow
I think abstractly.
And the game
Becomes boring
The quest 'to know' is finished.
I shall never write again, again.
Information everywhere
Reminding us of guilty times
Where is the aid
Chill, calm down, take it easy
Seems ignorant to me
So depression swamps the dying flame.
Can't live your life
Being wrong in everything
You say and do.
The plants bloom, covering gloom
The birds chirp, catching flies
The human beams, being happy.
The buildings, structures, have new
interest.
The colours, shades, are exaggerated.
The plants degenerate
The birds cry
The human shrinks
The buildings, structures, become ignorant.
The colours, shades, are shaded.
A young child
Mischievously simple
Hides, then leaps out
To shock.
An adult
Deviously complicated
Shocks, then darts back to hide.
Humans break the rules of
nature
Then gloat in power drenched clothing
'Oh, we weren't aware of any complications
until destruction occurred.'
Some 'intellectuals' have no wisdom
They fight the natural glow.
A distracted day
But in a hopeful way
Reason is reason enough.
A muggy stuffed-up air surrounds the
bodies,
Milling about town
Escalators will flow side by side
Moving humans up and down
Spilling swarms out
Some rush with an agenda
Others cruise the tide of time
A real tree inside a shopping monstrosity
echoing popular music
Billows through people.
Yes, a distracting day.
It has been a strange
morning
Quietly detached and unlawful.
Went for lunch, Spanish meatballs, lemonade
Romantic music
As I sit alone
Being perceived
By bemused faces
Interestingly focussing
Today
May be free.
This time,
This space,
This crime,
This race.
In turn we accept
A different wave to wash over us
Leaving us shocked, refreshed &
gasping.
We try to talk to the earth
To feel free.
Expressionism fails to move us.
Strange times
Inside the trendy vibes of people
Glances glancing sexually
At people.
A poet it seems
Is amongst us.
Viewing, perceiving, learning, watching
We greet a friend without words
We listen to music as if nothing else needs
to be said.
As I write this strange starers stare
Why? What are you doing? Writing?
When no-one else is.
I say
So what?
Who cares?
And why!
This time
It is
Real.
So strange
How it feels
Sort of - like nothing
A release
A game of morals
Maladjusted.
I'm off on a wander
To ponder nature
And to feel sane.
A small boy inside screaming
Unheard
Abused & hated
Adult thought says
Use logic
Don't confuse or lose
Reasoning.
Experiencing time
And how to waste it
Things to do
Become clearer
And lesser.
I stop to roll a cigarette
Can't naturally remember
How to be.
The obvious unclear.
Oh! To own a skill
And know how to use it.
An old man sits
Gleefully listening to the band.
One shoe undone
Unnoticed.
With memory
& connection
Time is meaningless
& forgetful
How to use others
Is a skill to shy from
Abuse the weak/meek
To feel strong
Is wrong.
Everyone charges
These days
Charges for time
Experience is becoming
Dangerously expensive.
A flickering nervous
glance
Implies nothing
But an attempt
At a meaningful
Act of communication
Without strength of will.
A quiet time
With one's thoughts . . .
Creates noise.
A tempo thickens
The more one listens.
A complexity simplifies
When no longer a
Circular thought.
Answers are unnecessary to comprehension.
Questions are uneasiness in disguise.
Appreciation is acceptance.
Imagination is creativity
Utilise apparent
Meaninglessness.
Unison, chains, bonds, toward the other
end.
Perfection is a parallel.
Equilibrium, a place . . . no, the
place to be.
Listen!
Starvation is not natural
Or necessary to survival.
Why damage the inner-self
People are becoming
Impolite to themselves.
By refusing or acting (stealing)
A truth they can't refuse
But do!
Too tired to hide
When alert we tried
To weak to speak
When strong we become wrong
Too laissez faire to care
When deep we couldn't peep
The day has begun
The way has shone
The twilight starts night
No wrong, no right
Joyful, expectant inquisitiveness
We should caress.
Young & old we've been sold
At this rate
We won't create.
When on the edge of nothing
There is nothing to fall onto
Or fall back to
Where do you go
& how to you know?
My thoughts are now dead slow
Not sharp and powerful
When sapped of strength
Recuperation is not enough
As you need strength to recuperate.
Begin/start/continue
The mean dog attracts the face
Of the lonely boy.
Structural normality
Is self induced
By confidence of identity.
Communication is a balance
Of respect & non-respect.
There is a start to positivity & an end
There is an end to negativity & a start
I believe that there are other nodes of
conversational awareness.
'A middle', if you like.
True understanding is found in this
'middle'.
The 'middle' is deeply connected to
belief/acceptance of belief/acceptance.
Through this alone will rational, natural
growth of understanding
Be achieved.
We strive to better ourselves
With devious methods.
We should accept ourselves
With honest methods.
Snap the brittle deadness
Of our unheeded splint.
Ask . . .
Do we accept who we are by forgetting who
we were
& feeding off the pulse of majority
fear?
Freedom is an antidote to conformity, &
vice versa.
Conform to your individuality and exist as
intended.
We love puzzles
Maybe we should read the cartoons now,
Or even the news.
Or put it down and swim in the sea
Climb a mountain
Go to the beginning of your life.
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